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15 June 2005 @ 12:00 am
in the physics of hope there is no polarity  
bah! internet in the comfort of my own home alas! i've stubbornly refused to update until a certain communications company, who shall remain nameless, got its act together. it only took 2 weeks and a dozen angry phone calls. just because i live in a tiny outrageously expensive studio apartment, doesnt mean that i too do not deserve the comforts of blogging in my pajamas, which is exactly what im doing. with a summer honey. oh big sky, can you not make my favorite summer beer in a lighter variety?

theres a weird little feeling in the pit of my stomach that my mail is fucked up and that i will continue to have no money. silly postal service and their antics. seriously. who doesnt get mail for 2 weeks??!!!??? and what if my moms letter doesnt come, what happens then?? argh!!! and what if i never learn how to drive my cute new car? what if i stall it in malfucntion?? what happens if i keep worrying and implode? yeesh. get a fucking grip erin.

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ah, thats better.

limewire is addicting. i feeling like i need to download ALL OF THE MUSIC IN THE WORLD.... and then go to jail. bad ideas. that what my life is up to this point, a long serious of really, really half baked plans and poor planning.

its amazing how just a short half hour on the phone can alter your mood and perception on your evening. i feel stuck and scared. i want to help, but is it really my job to make people see that its not their fault??? i need to make the trip to the hi-line, but at this point im more than a little hesitant. eh.
mostly i want to drink a bottle of wine, curl up in bed and forgot that any of this ever happened. it gets to a point where you cant miss someone anymore. theres no more hurt left to give. what do i do now nick?
Current Mood: blank and raining
Current Music: Bjork - Human Behaviour